Everyone has had a fairytale romance at one point in their lives. In the beginning, it feels like a Hollywood movie, and regardless of how many times your friends tell you to slow down, you simply can’t help but to fall into a passionate blaze of glory.
You can’t see what others see. You can’t see reason behind it, but there is something inside of you that wonders: Does he love me as much as I love him?
Today, New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts will review some major red flags to keep an eye for that will tell you that your boyfriend is plain out using you.
1. Things Are Only Physical
The two of you never go out on dates anymore. You have become a couple that only sleeps together and watches a movie here and there. You have yet to meet any of his friends, but you have introduced him to all of yours by now.
While it’s easy to fall into a rut, especially after a long day in the office, if things are only taking place in the physical department, without anything else such as cuddling, going out for walks, and real dinner dates, something is wrong here.
If you ever feel like he just invites you over to have sex, then you have an unfortunate problem on your hands.
This is not to say that your relationship is doomed for failure. If you are truly in an equal partnership relationship, then you can voice your feelings about what is going on. And if he really likes you, he will fix this situation. If, however, he blows off your concerns and doesn’t put in any efforts to fix it, then you know what you have to do next.
Your partner should value all your concerns, especially in regards to the relationship. He should do whatever it takes to make you feel happy and secure in your partnership.
2. He Relies on You as a Therapist
Many of us can relate to this type of situation, regardless of which end we fall into. At first, you loved being needed by your partner, you loved that he could give you his deepest secrets and come to you for advice. This isn’t an issue in a relationship, as long as it’s reciprocated when you’re having a bad day.
However, when you’re having a bad day and want to talk about your own struggles, if your partner turns his back on you, then this is an issue. This could mean he is just using you.
Being in a relationship is stressful enough already, and it’s easy to rely on another person to unload everything going on in our daily lives. The trick of knowing if this relationship is doomed for failure is by the way he responds to when you bring up your issues and stresses.
A loving partner will be terrified of knowing that you think they’re using you as a therapist and abusing the trust in you. The proper response to you bringing it up should be “I’m sorry, I had no idea I was making you feel like a therapist. I’ll do my best to fix it.”
Words are pretty, and they can be awfully convincing as well, but you can easily tell if a person is trying to fix their mistake or not by their everyday actions. They should make you a promise to change and follow up with it. If not, then our New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts encourage you to reevaluate your relationship and leave him for good.
3. He Makes You Feel Insecure
Some jealousy in a relationship is bound to happen, and some women are more insecure than others. However, this tip isn’t an excuse to blame your insecurities on your boyfriend. If you have been an insecure and jealous girlfriend in the past and wonder why you feel the same way now, then there is a problem.
If you always believe that your partner is going to cheat on you, then he might cheat on you because you are subconsciously thinking it will happen and because you are not trusting him 100%.
There will never be a relationship if you cannot trust each other completely. If you do feel inclined to check up on him when he is out with his buddies or ask mutual friends to see if he is where he claims to be, then you are wasting your time and your energy.
There is nothing stable about being paranoid, and you might as well let him go and find yourself a partner you can trust and rely on.
4. You’re Always Paying for Everything
Nowadays, we know going Dutch is a normal thing in the dating world. And for many relationships, it’s not uncommon for partners to split things 50/50. However, when it comes to this man, if you notice that you’re the one buying everything lately, from coffee dates, nights out on the town, and even filling his gas tank and taking him shopping, then you have a grisly problem on your hands. If this guy is broke all the time and doesn’t have a valid reason for his lack of money, then you need to reevaluate what you’re doing with him. A man can use you for sex or money, so be aware of a man who is always asking you to pay.
It happens to the best of women out there. You might be hanging out with a man and having a good time with him, but underneath it all, things just aren’t quite adding up. You might notice that he is only using you for sex or money, and either way, we know it hurts.
Well, ladies, some men out there are only dating for their own benefit. Now, remember that not all men are like that, and our New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts know this all too well. If you are ready to leave the players and users in the past and ready to find a serious relationship-minded man, then we encourage you to contact our expert matchmakers at one of our four convenient locations today.
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