It hurts to discover that you’re only a guy’s backup plan when you gave you full heart to him. It’s even worse to find out after you’ve invested months in the relationship.
So you met this wonderful guy, not through an online dating site but in real life. He’s handsome and charming and acts like a true gentleman. You can’t help but to think he’s better than all the guys you dated in the past.
This guy is so great he doesn’t even allow you to pay for the dates because he says it’s pleasure. You have high hopes that he’s exactly what you’ve been searching for your whole life.
But after spending some time together, you can’t help but notice he’s talking about his ex whom he broke up with a few months ago. Does this mean he’s lonely and using you to pass the time? Are you a rebound, his backup plan? Get your answer as New Jersey Singles reviews five telltale signs he doesn’t see you as a potential partner but rather someone to pass the time.
1. He tells you he doesn’t want anything serious.
Let’s face it, the right guy will look forward to spending the rest of his life with you and will have no problem telling you that he wants a commitment. So if the new guy in your life is already telling you that he’s not looking for something serious, believe him. He obviously only sees you as backup. Move on and find someone who is worthy of your time. If you want something serious, you can’t waste your time on someone who is only passing the time.
2. The relationship has no label.
Yes, we know that labels sometimes aren’t important. But in your case it definitely is because you’re trying to find out if he’s serious about you. If he dismisses the whole relationship talk and strays from calling you his girlfriend, then he’s pretty much telling you that you’re not his girlfriend. Do not spend another second on him. A guy who refuses to put a label on the relationship is only using you as a backup plan. He clearly doesn’t see you as a priority and doesn’t have any intentions of getting serious.
3. He never spends money on you.
We know this might sound a little crazy, but a man who is serious about you will have no problem proving his worth by spending money on you. Sure, he might not have millions in the bank, but he will do whatever it takes to impress you. If “Mr. New Guy” doesn’t spend a dime on you, not even a simple coffee date, then you’re clearly not a priority to him. No one is saying he has to take you out on extravagant dates all the time, but if he can’t even spring for an ice-cream cone or romance you with a nice dinner at home, then he doesn’t care to impress you.
4. You haven’t met any of his friends or family.
No matter how new you are as a couple, chances are you’re going to meet a friend or two of his. While it might be too early to meet the parents if you’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks, if you’ve been dating for several months and you haven’t met any of his friends or family members, then it’s clear he’s keeping you in the shadows. You are not important to him, hence the reason you haven’t met anyone close to him. Unfortunately, you probably never will because you’re only his backup woman, not a real partner.
5. He cancels plans all the time.
Yes, we know everyone is guilty of flaking out once in a while, but if he has a habit of cancelling plans on you last minute and doesn’t give you a real reason as to why, then it shows that you’re not a priority in his life. It’s time you cut your losses and wait for someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve.
If you’re a smart woman, which we know you are, you won’t let him get away with this. You will end up destroying your self-worth, and that’s the last thing you want to do, especially for a guy who doesn’t see you as a priority.
Now that you’ve read the top five signs that tell you you’re only his backup, you know what to do next. Are you ready to be with someone who doesn’t see you as a backup plan?
Remember that you don’t deserve to be a guy’s backup plan, no matter how good looking and charming he is to you. If he starts making you feel like you come second best, then kick him to the curb.
Let our New Jersey Singles matchmakers introduce you to men who will give you the VIP treatment you deserve. Call 1 (888) 417-0020 to reserve your FREE matchmaking consultation with our dedicated matchmakers today!