single women in new jersey

New Jersey Singles Reviews Signs You’re Just His Backup

It hurts to discover that you’re only a guy’s backup plan when you gave you full heart to him.  It’s even worse to find out after you’ve invested months in the relationship.

So you met this wonderful guy, not through an online dating site but in real life.  He’s handsome and charming and acts like a true gentleman.  You can’t help but to think he’s better than all the guys you dated in the past.

This guy is so great he doesn’t even allow you to pay for the dates because he says it’s pleasure.  You have high hopes that he’s exactly what you’ve been searching for your whole life.

But after spending some time together, you can’t help but notice he’s talking about his ex whom he broke up with a few months ago.  Does this mean he’s lonely and using you to pass the time?  Are you a rebound, his backup plan?  Get your answer as New Jersey Singles reviews five telltale signs he doesn’t see you as a potential partner but rather someone to pass the time.

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1. He tells you he doesn’t want anything serious.

Let’s face it, the right guy will look forward to spending the rest of his life with you and will have no problem telling you that he wants a commitment.  So if the new guy in your life is already telling you that he’s not looking for something serious, believe him.  He obviously only sees you as backup.  Move on and find someone who is worthy of your time.  If you want something serious, you can’t waste your time on someone who is only passing the time.

2. The relationship has no label.

Yes, we know that labels sometimes aren’t important.  But in your case it definitely is because you’re trying to find out if he’s serious about you.  If he dismisses the whole relationship talk and strays from calling you his girlfriend, then he’s pretty much telling you that you’re not his girlfriend.  Do not spend another second on him.  A guy who refuses to put a label on the relationship is only using you as a backup plan.  He clearly doesn’t see you as a priority and doesn’t have any intentions of getting serious.

3. He never spends money on you.

We know this might sound a little crazy, but a man who is serious about you will have no problem proving his worth by spending money on you.  Sure, he might not have millions in the bank, but he will do whatever it takes to impress you.  If “Mr. New Guy” doesn’t spend a dime on you, not even a simple coffee date, then you’re clearly not a priority to him.  No one is saying he has to take you out on extravagant dates all the time, but if he can’t even spring for an ice-cream cone or romance you with a nice dinner at home, then he doesn’t care to impress you.

4. You haven’t met any of his friends or family.

No matter how new you are as a couple, chances are you’re going to meet a friend or two of his.  While it might be too early to meet the parents if you’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks, if you’ve been dating for several months and you haven’t met any of his friends or family members, then it’s clear he’s keeping you in the shadows.  You are not important to him, hence the reason you haven’t met anyone close to him.  Unfortunately, you probably never will because you’re only his backup woman, not a real partner.

5. He cancels plans all the time.

Yes, we know everyone is guilty of flaking out once in a while, but if he has a habit of cancelling plans on you last minute and doesn’t give you a real reason as to why, then it shows that you’re not a priority in his life.  It’s time you cut your losses and wait for someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve.

If you’re a smart woman, which we know you are, you won’t let him get away with this.  You will end up destroying your self-worth, and that’s the last thing you want to do, especially for a guy who doesn’t see you as a priority.

Now that you’ve read the top five signs that tell you you’re only his backup, you know what to do next.  Are you ready to be with someone who doesn’t see you as a backup plan?

Remember that you don’t deserve to be a guy’s backup plan, no matter how good looking and charming he is to you.  If he starts making you feel like you come second best, then kick him to the curb.

Let our New Jersey Singles matchmakers introduce you to men who will give you the VIP treatment you deserve.  Call 1 (888) 417-0020 to reserve your FREE matchmaking consultation with our dedicated matchmakers today!

 

New Jersey Singles – Caution: 9 Dating Mistakes to Avoid!

Dating is a difficult task. Most of us have to go through it and meet more than our fair share of bad contenders before we ever find the right match. And even then, the road to dating success if very difficult. Every relationship will have its fair share of mistakes and setbacks, but not all have to fail because of them. Our New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts have put together a list of the top dating mistakes to avoid if you want to succeed in the game of love. In our professional matchmaking experience, we know avoiding these dating mistakes will put you on top of your competition and make you more successful in the dating world. READY, SET, GO!

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1. Dating with too many expectations.

It is very important to have an open-mind when jumping into the dating world. Yes, it’s perfectly fine to hope that something will come of each date, but if you go on all your dates with too high of expectations, you’ll be setting the bar too high and feeling disappointed, each and every time.

We encourage you to be open to all types of possibilities. You are not going to find “the one” on your first date. You need to date around, meet new people, and test the waters so you can find out what you like and dislike in a partner. If you think you need to go out on a lot of dates, then we advise you go out on coffee dates first, since they’re simple and allow you to get to know someone in a quicker manner and in a more relaxing atmosphere. Dating is a learning experience, so allow yourself to learn as you go along.

2. Not focusing on them.

The old saying is true, actions do speak louder than words, and this is especially true when it comes to dating. Paying close attention to your dates will allow you to be more successful in getting second dates. People become so self-conscious today that they’re not able to pick up on cues from their dates. When you are out on a date, try not to worry about what they’re going to ask you or whether or not you should fake laugh at their jokes. Our New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts encourage you to relax, enjoy the moment and focus on them. Easier said than done, right? Trust us, if you relax yourself and pay attention to your date, you will have a better understanding of them and whether you would be compatible for one another.

3. Compromising on Deal Breakers

It is very important to know what you want in a partner and a relationship before you start dating. We don’t recommend you to have a very detailed list or to create a ‘make it or break it’ list about outside appearances, style, or pet preferences. We tell our clients to focus on core beliefs and what is truly important, to you, to them, and in a relationship. Intelligence? Honesty? Respect? Figure out what you think your deal breakers are and don’t compromise on them. You can compromise with someone who is a little clingier than you’d prefer, but you can’t compromise with someone who doesn’t believe in monogamy or someone who is always lying. You need to get to know yourself first before you can find a partner.

4. Not Getting to Know Them Too Well

New relationships are filled with excitement thanks to a little thing called lust. When you first meet, nature puts you in a cocktail of happy drugs that override just about anything. When it comes to dating, we should pick our partners not just by what we want, but we should also listen to what our friends and family tell us too.

Bring your new date around those who love you and let them vet them for you. Remember, you’re not just testing your partner, you’re testing to see how you both work as a couple. Do you look happy to be together? Do they treat you right? If your friends and family give you the thumbs up, then go ahead and proceed with the relationship; however, if they are not enthusiastic about it, or even point out dangerous red flags, you should listen to them and reevaluate your relationship.

5. Having an All or Nothing Mentality

You need to remember that dating is not a race, and you can’t expect to meet your ideal partner on your first date. It is important to take things slow and let your relationship proceed on its natural course. In general, it should take several months for you to get to know someone.

6. Giving into Sex Too Soon

We consider ourselves to be a little old school, and we don’t agree with jumping into the sheets too soon. Of course you are the one who is in charge, so it’s up to you to make your own decisions, but if you are looking for someone serious, letting him or her have all the goodies too soon is a recipe for disaster. We don’t believe that taking it to the bedroom with someone after the first date is too smart. You should really get to know them well before you ever take it there.

7. Facebook Flirting

Social media has definitely changed the way people flirt and date. However, Facebook also brings many problems. You need to have boundaries when it comes to Facebook. Don’t make yourself look too needy by posting on their wall too often, bombarding them with messages, or stalking their page all the time.

8. Not Fixing Your Mistakes

Perhaps one of the most important pieces of advice we can offer you is to always fix the mistakes you make. You can’t expect a different outcome if you keep committing the same mistakes you’ve been committing in the past.

9. Looking to Date Someone like You

We are all different, we have different quirks and different ways of working. If you are getting into the dating world thinking you’re going to find someone identical to you, you are wrong. Instead of looking for someone who is a cookie cutter version of you, our New Jersey Singles matchmaking experts want you to step outside the box and date people you normally wouldn’t go for. Besides, what fun would it be to date someone who is identical to you?

If you’re ready to step up your dating game this summer, contact our matchmakers here at New Jersey Singles Dating Service and let us help you win the partner of your dreams!

Call Now To Get Started! 1 (888) 417-0020